Why You Should Get Married? Why you should have a baby? Is it obligatory for a woman to wed only a man? These queries often arise in people’s minds, yet there exist girls who, through facing these queries, gain self-awareness and realize their authentic selves.
Basira Paigham, a 25-year-old girl, is among those who experienced unanswered questions from society. Despite the challenges, Basira managed to find her own path and courageously fought for her true identity. Openly discussing her sexual orientation within the country proved difficult. In Basira’s words, Afghanistan is a “one-colored society,” which is blackness. In this blackness, belonging to the LGBTQ+ community is still considered taboo. Afghan society predominantly recognizes and accepts only male and female gender identities, viewing any sexual orientation other than heterosexuality (straightness) as blasphemous.
Forming LGBTQ+ Association
Basira’s journey began in 2015 when she embarked on her activism. She started using social media under a pseudonym to gather information about the LGBTQ+ community. It was through these platforms that she connected with a gay man residing in Europe and made friends in India. However, trusting individuals within Afghanistan proved to be challenging. In 2016, Basira took a significant step by creating a Facebook Group specifically for LGBTQ+ members. It was within this community that she encountered married women expressing their dissatisfaction with their relationships with men and single girls openly discussing their emotional and sexual attraction to same-sex partners.
For Basira, it was a crucial opportunity to express her true identity as a lesbian woman within society. However, whenever she engaged in conversations about her orientation with her relatives, they would make a hissing sound, cautioning, “Shut up! Earthquakes will occur, floods will arise, and doomsday will arrive, do you understand? It is your actions that have led to the destruction of Afghanistan.”
In 2018, Basira and fellow members of the LGBTQ+ community came together to initiate collaborative programs. Despite the challenges they faced, they organized clandestine educational sessions in Kabul to discuss the healthy sexual relationships among individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. They found solace and solidarity by gathering at Pul-e Surkh cafes and strolling through the streets, sharing their experiences of discrimination and emotions suppressed. Additionally, they provided support to those facing financial hardships, going as far as covering each other’s medical expenses and treatments.
In Nangarhar, a gay student formed a relationship with a local tailor. However, when the tailor requested him to sexually serve his friends at a party, the student declined. Enraged by the refusal, the tailor resorted to physically assaulting the young man, leaving him with broken bones that required medical treatment. Fearful of revealing the situation to his family and unable to seek financial assistance from them, the student found support from Basira. She sent him money to aid in his recovery and the healing of his injuries. Basira and her friends further extended their assistance by providing therapy opportunities for members of their community who needed psychological support.
Homosexuality is a Natural Human Trait, Not a Western Import
While cooperating clandestinely with the LGBTQ+ community in Afghanistan, Basira courageously appeared on international radio and television platforms under a pseudonym, passionately advocating for the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals. However, domestically, Basira gained recognition through local media as a women’s rights activist due to her involvement as a “gender expert” with two foreign institutions.
Basira became aware of the perception among many Afghans that the presence of the LGBTQ+ community in Afghanistan was viewed as part of a Western agenda, stemming from a lack of understanding of the true reality. However, Basira also observed that Westerners themselves often exhibited reluctance to openly discuss the LGBTQ+ community.
During Basira’s tenure as a gender expert in an international organization, she proposed to the program director, who was a foreigner, that educational programs in the organization should be expanded to include discussions on diverse genders and sexual orientations, specifically addressing the LGBTQ+ community. However, the program director responded with resistance, stating, “No, don’t include it! Addressing the LGBTQ+ community as problematic. Don’t disclose your own identity to your colleagues, too, as it may lead to termination of your employment.”
Basira was deeply taken aback by the fact that international organizations, which claim to champion human rights, would overlook the rights of the LGBTQ+ community and even advise her to remain silent and conceal her identity.
Basira expressed a belief that international organizations and individuals involved in promoting human rights and contributing to the reconstruction of Afghanistan during the past two decades did not truly embrace the principles of equality and diversity. According to Basira, this reality became more apparent after the collapse of the Republican regime in Afghanistan.
When Basira was recognized as one of the 100 influential women in 2021 by the BBC, some of her acquaintances from human rights institutions and even one of her university professors, who held a master’s degree in human rights, left her a message expressing their surprise and disappointment. They questioned Basira’s character, stating, “Basira, we thought you were a human. Is this really who you are?”
Basira was living in a refugee camp in Ireland when the BBC published the list of 100 influential women. Within the camp, Basira encountered women’s rights activists, female judges, journalists, and colleagues from human rights organizations. However, despite 20 years of work experience in human rights organizations and now living in a free world, none of them could accept Basira as a lesbian woman. This was while on social media, they wrote about the Taliban’s oppression of women and called on the international community to protect the “rights of women and minorities.”
Basira was expelled from various groups and communities and subjected to mistreatment. She was even barred from participating in cultural events, such as celebrating Eid. In gatherings, some individuals struck their hands and foreheads, stating “Basira’s conversations with me held ulterior motives.” They subjected her to relentless teasing and directed hurtful remarks toward their young girls, cautioning them against any influence from foreigners that may negatively impact their identity.
Nowhere is Safe for Women, But Let’s Not Be Silent
Upon uncovering her true identity, Basira came to a disheartening realization about the situation of the Afghan LGBTQ+ community whose life and existence are marked by “silence and hardship.” She firmly believes that if this historical silence persists, the already stringent social norms will only grow stronger, leaving even less room for the lives of LGBTQ+ individuals. The outlook for acceptance of the identity and rights of LGBTQ+ individuals appears bleak, as societal forces actively seek to conform others to their own norms. Tragically, incidents like the heartbreaking case of the man who took the life of his own transgender son in Takhar serve as chilling reminders of the potential dangers faced by those who defy gender expectations.
Basira once visited a doctor in Kabul for diagnostic imaging/ultrasound examination, but the female nurse was absent that day. Feeling pressed for time, she approached the male doctor and suggested, “I’m in a rush. There is no problem if you conduct the examination.” The young woman accompanying Basira was taken aback by her suggestion, while the male doctor himself was also surprised, wondering, “What kind of girl is she?”
As Basira positioned herself on the examination bed, the doctor began inappropriately running his hands over her body. “Doctor, move the probe! Why are you using your hands?” Basira exclaimed. Frightened, the doctor attempted to maintain a facade of righteousness and responded, “I am aware of what I’m doing.” In return, Basira questioned, “How can you be certain while you are touching my body?” She reminded the doctor that being a free girl doesn’t equate to being a quean. The young woman accompanying Basira urged her to remain silent, pleading, “Please, be quiet!”
Basira firmly holds the belief that silence only grants more time and power to the oppressor. Reflecting on her experiences as a woman in public spaces, whether it be in taxis or on the streets, she acknowledges the pervasive presence of harassment and violence. However, she has chosen not to remain silent in the face of such mistreatment.
One day, Basira accompanied her sister and her uncle’s daughter to the market to purchase the fabric. In a shop, the shopkeeper’s young male apprentice approached Basira’s sister with the intention to touch her body, but she quickly withdrew. Basira also noticed that he advertently touched the hand of another girl who was buying the fabric.
As others in the shop chose to ignore his treatment, Basira drew back her chador and exclaimed, “What do you want? Come and touch my hand!” The shopkeeper’s apprentice, flustered and attempting to defend himself, protested, “What are you saying? Today is Friday, I am going to pray the Friday prayer. What’s the matter with you?” Basira responded with anger, stating, “If you are so eager, would I strip myself?!” The shop owner recognized the gravity of the situation and quickly intervened, offering an apology, and assuring Basira, “It’s alright, he repents his actions.”
In a society where acceptance of half of the population (women) remains a challenge, it becomes even more difficult to imagine acceptance for the LGBTQ+ community. When the Republican regime collapsed, Basira was living in an apartment with two other girls. When the Taliban began searching homes, Basira’s housemates sought refuge with their relatives, leaving Basira behind to face the threats alone. Due to security concerns, Basira’s father and brother were unable to travel to Kabul to assist her. In desperation, Basira reached out to her housemates, pleading to be taken along with them. But the relatives of her housemates had responded dismissively, stating, “She is not a normal girl, so it’s not possible…” Faced with mounting danger, Basira made the difficult decision to destroy all photos, educational materials, and personal belongings, including her computer and SIM cards. She temporarily sought refuge in a hotel room, but eventually, after two months had passed since the fall of the regime, she managed to leave Afghanistan in October, 2021.
The Voice of LGBTQ+ Community
Basira is currently living in Ireland and has taken proactive steps to support the Afghan LGBTQ+ community. Together with her colleagues, they have successfully registered the Afghan LGBT Organization in the Czech Republic. They have also initiated Radio Ranginkaman and have raised their voices to advocate for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. During her time in the refugee camp, when living conditions became cramped, Basira reached out to the British immigration office and requested a separate house. Now, living alone, she emphasizes the importance of relationships but also believes that life should not revolve solely around finding a life partner. Basira acknowledges that while having a fulfilling relationship is positive, it is equally essential to prioritize personal growth and pursue other aspects of life.
Basira has dedicated herself to a crucial mission: advocating for the rights and recognition of the LGBTQ+ community in Afghanistan. She believes that it is of utmost importance for the media, international human rights organizations, and other civil organizations involved in Afghanistan’s affairs to actively raise awareness about the gender identity of the LGBTQ+ community and sexual orientations. Basira highlights that without such efforts, “the chain of discrimination and ignorance will only continue to strengthen, further marginalizing and suffocating the LGBTQ+ community.”
